AFFRONT TO ALL SULEKHITES .

            I read with dismay/disappointment/anger/despair/shock/consternation a news item in Deccan herald of Tuesday. I was astonished/appalled/amazed/surprised/annoyed/irritated/ astounded/dumbfounded/exasperated/flabbergasted/dumbfounded and finally surprised at the ignorance of the news agency that dished out the news. Even the good news of the American House of representatives passing a unanimous resolution on DIWALI did not uplift my spirits. The controversy regarding the omission of Rahul Dravid from the ODI team for the Pakistan series also didn’t disturb me so much. As the anger welled up from inside it spilled over all those near to me and I lashed at out all the enemies/adversaries/competitors seen or perceived/imagined/construed.

            I am sorry that in my rage I forgot to mention the main reason for my anger/discomfiture/irritation/fury/resentment as I was overcome by emotions that shook me violently. The report under reference although looked innocuous but loaded, stated that the maximum numbers of Geniuses are presently at Great Britain . In my concept Great Britain is a small country smaller than few districts in Andhra Pradesh and is undoubtedly a “has been” and a spent force with its influence in world affairs waning rapidly.

            What appalled me most is that the fellow who took the head count of geniuses must have forgotten to visit the Sulekha website. I am sure that most of my readers will agree with me that the number of geniuses at this website will easily exceed all the geniuses in the entire Europe. Britain by itself has no chance. I can think of the great scientist Henry King who despite his handicaps discovered many things and wrote several tomes spilling the beans of his intelligence all over. Apart from him the only other fellow who came to my mind readily was Beckham who could bend the ball at his will but he had migrated to USA.

            I then wanted to take a head count of these rare species on our site and soon lost count. I saw geniuses everywhere on the site like daffodils on a big field or like the tulips of different colours we see in many love scenes of Bollywood films. Every Indian in love breaks into a song and a break dance the moment cupid strikes him/her and makes a beeline to the Tulip farms in Holland . Similarly anyone looking for a genius on any subject under the sun has only one option .He/she must visit Sulekha immediately to get advice on any matters ranging from the nuclear deal to carving pumpkins artistically or bread art.

            I want to write to the news agency that it had erred badly in its report and can find at Sulekha not only many but also varieties of geniuses that cannot be found anywhere in this universe. I am collating the facts and figures to make a comprehensive report and almost ready with most of my data. Although I am quite self sustaining and have sufficient resources at my disposal I’m not infallible and I welcome and appreciate any suggestions/additions/deletions from other members gladly without any reservations.

         My list starts with ixedoc who is next in line for Nobel in medicine, maddss123 for his political analysis of events particularly Pakistan, R-Sharma for literature for her dissertation on constipatus, Motto Gucci for humour, Muthu Sunderrajan for fiction, Spencer a.k.a bilingual for his eclectic and technosavy thoughts on improving the site and its contents, MV Balaji for his extensive and intensive knowledge of the art and craft of toileting in public and private, Kamalji whose everyday experiences are a perpetual fount of wit and wisdom, Purefiendship who lives up to the reputation of his name by his perpetual smile and peripatetic habits of meeting bloggers and arranging such meets, Nargis Natarajan the queen of bloggers of Mumbai both old and new who along with B S Keshav arranges SIMBA get together and a host of others who come from all corners of the country.  Their depth of knowledge, vision, passion for their thoughts and expressions with rare finesse on several subjects are to be read to be believed.

            If all these were left out in the counting process the blame for this should be laid at no other place on the door step of Sulekha. Nargis Natarajan who had been to their office recently can indicate whether there is adequate space for this.  It is also obvious that the site has not marketed itself and the geniuses housed in its portal/domain effectively.

            As my letter wings its way I would instead of being an argumentative Indian  suggest the following steps to give a thorough makeover to our site to get due recognition to about 60K in house geniuses.

(a)      Get Spencer to India on a paid vacation; accommodate him in a hotel with a decent Golf course of 18 holes to suggest ways and means of plastic surgery needed.

(b)      Request Bob Mallayya from the suburbs of Mangalore to carry out necessary surgery implanting steel or titanium rods, brackets, nuts, bolts and whatever, wherever necessary.

(c)      Request ixedoc to give IV of fresh ideas to rejuvenate the site.

(d)      Seek the help of Dr Kamath to provide soothing music to all visitors.

(e)      Requisition the services of harshalawyer and his lady assistants (if any left) to provide legal advice to sue the news agency for ignoring the legal claim of the site.

(f)        Ask subbu to provide the necessary PR and event management to showcase the talents of the geniuses.

(g)      Take the advice of M V Balaji to see that all toilets meet the international requirements and get an ISO 9002 certificate.

(h)      Ask R-sharma to write a detailed account of the achievements and the rapid progress of the site.

I am also sending an application to Balaji the ooperwallah by speed post.